Celebrating Valentine’s Day: Exploring Self-Love

Celebrating Valentine’s Day: Exploring Self-Love

By: Morgan Draper, Practicum Student

Supervised by: Wendy Brien, MEd, LPC, NCC

February is typically considered the month of love and romance, where couples get together and celebrate their relationship with one another. Recently there has also been a rise in alternatives to Valentine’s Day such as Galentine's Day, and Single’s Day. However, one of the most important celebrations we can take part in, whether single or in a partnership, is the love we can give to ourselves. Self-love can be a difficult subject for many. It can be easier to love someone else or show our love for others than it is to show it to ourselves. But what does self-love mean? 

Self-love is simply to have regard for one’s worth and happiness. It is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological, and spiritual growth. In this way, self-love consists of not only how we treat ourselves, but also how we view ourselves. To have a better understanding of what self-love is, I have included some examples as a reference. Self-love does not have to be limited to these examples; however, you may find them as good starting points for your journey. 

Examples of Self-Love

• Prioritizing yourself.

• Valuing your feelings.

• Be nice to yourself.

• Seeking out care for your mental health.

• Eating healthy.

• Setting boundaries. 

• Give yourself a break.

• Asking for help.

It is important to note that self-love does not mean that you must love every aspect of yourself or that you will feel good all the time, but that you have a positive mindset and sense of self overall. A good example of this is when you are disappointed in yourself; you may be disappointed in that moment, but you still love who you are regardless. In this way, it is like how we love others, at times we may become disappointed by those we love; however, we still love them, and because of this, we accept their flaws. We need to show compassion for ourselves as much as we do for those around us.

Developing Self-Love

It can be difficult to change our ways of thinking when it comes to how we view ourselves, especially if the thoughts we have are primarily negative. Even though we may recognize this, we often avoid doing things differently than what we have become accustomed to. A lot of this involves self-doubt and the belief that we may not deserve self-love or believe ourselves incapable of showing ourselves love and compassion. One of the best ways to start changing this type of mindset is to develop positive affirmations. Positive affirmations are positive statements that are used to challenge and overcome negative thoughts. When you practice these affirmations and repeat them, you begin to believe them. From there begins your journey of self-love.

Narcissism or Self-love: What’s the Difference?

While it is good to love yourself it is important to understand the distinction between self-love and being “in love” with ourselves. In this way, self-love can be confused with narcissism. Narcissism is not self-love. It involves a selfish and self-centered type of love based outside of reality and is dependent on the views of others, while self-love is about taking responsibility for your mental, physical, and spiritual well-being. 

Positive Affirmation Examples

• I am enough.

• I forgive myself for my mistakes.

• My positive thoughts create positive feelings. 

• I am capable of whatever I set my mind to.

• I am worthy. 

• I appreciate all that my body does for me. 

• I choose to be happy and completely love myself today. 

• My strength is greater than my struggle.

At times it may be difficult to say these words and believe in these affirmations, but it is important to continue to recite them and show yourself patience. Developing self-love is no easy task. However, it is worth the effort and time you put towards it. As you go on this journey of self-love, recognize that you are not alone in your struggles, others are walking on a similar path. Feel free to reach out to those around you when things become difficult and seek out additional guidance as needed, such as counseling for any concerns you may have related to your journey.