Thoughts of Love

This is a guest post by Jess Parker. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor - Associate, supervised by David B. Martin, MA, LPC-S at Martin Counseling. Find out more about her here.

February, for many, is associated with thoughts of love and relationships. Whether you are married, dating, or talking about friendships; relationships can take work and can sometimes be a challenge to navigate.

Have you ever noticed those relationships where the people seem so in tune...it’s like they can read each other’s minds?

Communication is one of the basis of a healthy relationship. Many times when getting to know spouses, partners, or friends we discuss our hopes and dreams, our aspirations, our values, and these form the basis for whether we continue the relationship. As we become more comfortable and time goes on, we have these conversations less and less, and begin to assume that those initial conversations are still where each other stands. But ask yourself...do I change as a person as the years go by?

As time goes by our dreams change, and we grow. Many clients have told me that they don’t have these conversations with their significant others in the way they used to. They make assumptions, which can lead to damaging expectations.

When expectations aren’t communicated they can lead to disappointment and hurt.

Take time to have conversations with the people you care about, and question whether you are explicitly communicating your wants, needs and desires, or are working on the assumption that the other person “should” know what you want.

Effective communication includes actively listening, and a tip for this is to summarize back to the other person what you believe you heard. This is a great way to show the other person you are listening, and also a way to check that you are understanding what they are saying.